Maid of Honor - To be, or not to be?

I'm writing this post after seeing that there's not much out there about whether or not to accept someone's proposition to be their Maid of Honor (MOH) in their wedding. There are plenty of websites which describe the ideal person to choose for MOH for the brides, but not much about what to consider from the recipient of the offers point of view.

What you don't think about initially is that it's a major undertaking - the task itself and the financial side of things. This infographic from Mint.com is a good indicator of the reality of the situation. The average cost of being a bridesmaid or MOH in a wedding is more than $1,500! The second the bride asks, you think - how nice! I get to stand up there in a dress of my choosing, in shoes of my choosing, and watch and support my friend as they complete a holy sacrament!

...Things don't always turn out like that. There's a lot of compromise involved. The bridesmaids like a different style for different body types or love those pair of pumps? Well - majority rules, sucks for you! It's the bride's day after all, and she has final say in all decisions.

Now, I'm here to talk specifically to people who are considering being a whole 'nother ball game of MOH - a long-distance MOH. Have to fly in for the shower and the actual wedding itself? Figure another $500+ in expenses. More if you have to foot your own bill for a place to stay during these events, not to mention the extended period of time you'll have to take off from work. The distance adds an additional dimension of hardship in taking on the traditional role of planning the shower without being able to physically get together with the other bridesmaids, mother of the bride, etc.

For these reasons, I would take some time to consider what your friend is asking of you before you give an answer. I was an amateur my first time, but I will know better for next time. I now know hands-on what the task at hand is and what I can and cannot afford to be a MOH for a friend or family member's wedding. You need a lot of support as MOH from the bridesmaids, family of the bride and groom, and if you don't know them that well it can be difficult in making everything happen, especially from far away.

The point of this post is, if you just got asked to be a MOH, consider the distance between you and the bride as a major factor before you answer. Unless you have been best friends for years or you have the money and the deep urge to have the experience, it's okay to say no, and it may be better to politely decline her offer and just attend the wedding as a guest.